Zelda "Spoof Ads"
Written by Writing Wind for WZMR Radio
NOTE- The suggested voices are only suggested, you may compromise if necessary.
( ) = Preferred voice type and emotion
#1 (Deep Male- semi exited) The Legend of Zelda! Solve puzzles, grow in stature, and find keys that can only be used once!
#2 (General male voice- exited advertising) The Legend of Zelda Minish Cap, messing up time-line theories since 2005!
#3 (Female news caster- calm but playful) Tonights big story on Hyrule 10 news, a young man in green is arrested for suspicion of carrying explosives to Lake Hylia and attempting to detonate the devices, when asked for a statement in his defense he simply responded “But I'll never get the green Rupees at the bottom of the lake if you arrest me!” More on that coming up on Hyrule 10 news.
#4 (Male news caster- slight tone of annoyance) Recently, H.E.T.C; Hylians for Ethical Treatment of Cuccoos, has stated “No longer can we allow for people to attack and abuse Cuccoos for entertainment. In response to this violent issue, we've trained a number of Cuccoos to attack back at the assaulter, sometimes resulting in mass Cuccoo attacks”. Despite worry about Cuckoo uprisings H.E.T.C has continued training these...'Death Cuccoos'.
#5 (Deep Male- Serious) Recent studies at Castle Town University have revealed that Tingle is not a person, but rather a state of mind. This state of mind has been found in a total of three people thus far. What causes this 'Tingle' state of mind is still unknown, however it may be linked to unhealthy relationships with Rupees and obsessions with Fairies.
#6 (Light Male- Excited playful) Looking for a good time? Come on down to Kakariko Resort and Casino! Play at the slots and card tables among many other activities! Rest up in the Eld -inn! Take a hike up Death Mountain for a refreshing day out! Relax in one of two of Kakariko's natural Springs! Call now for reservations! Come and stay, at Kakariko Resort and Casino!
#7 (mid-excited female[Think Buxton bag commercial] ) Malo-Mart! Everyday low prices and family satisfaction, now with two locations in Kakariko village, and Central Castle Town!
#8 (Innocent Female) Here at Lon Lon ranch, we ensure our animals are happy and healthy, because good milk comes from happy cows, and happy cows come from Lon Lon Ranch! Lon Lon Ranch products, the finest dairy available!
#9 (Medium-Deep Male_excited) Looking for a relaxing vacation? Book a reservation at Windfall Island Today! Take a tour of the surrounding islands in the luxury of a class A cruise ship. Relax in one of our personal cabana's, and while you're here, enjoy the islands many fine outlets and services or take a ride on the Windmill! Windfall Island, paradise is just a reservation away, call to book a reservation today!
#10 (Casual Male- keeping it cool) Local residents of the Kokiri forest are now giving tours of the Lost Woods! Ever wanted to visit the Forest Temple? How about marveling at the beauty of the Lost Woods? For just 25 Rupees, you can participate in one of three different tour routes into the lost woods. If you're interested, contact the Faron Province chamber of commerce for details!
#11 (Medium Male- Excited/ “Stoked”) See The Indi-Go's live, starring vocalist Lulu and lead guitarist Mikau! This March at the Clocktown square, call Clocktown ticket master to buy your tickets today!